A Love Letter for My Educator

“People come and go”, that is one of the quote instilled in us in PN. In fact there was a part of the wall going to the office where that quote was posted and beside them were the photos of those who left but made great contributions in the formation of PNP during their stay. Sad to say that part of the wall is no longer there, well the wall is there but the photos and the quote is no longer there. And on February 5, 2016, one of the best educator and PNP staff that I have ever meet made her exit to be with her family and start a new chapter of her life. Though it is hard for us to let her go, we have to not because we don’t like her but because we love her very much. Because if you really love a person you have to be ready to let go of that person. As what I have learned in one of the teleserye that I watch when I have time is “Kung mahal ka babalikan ka” – OTWOL. And we know she loves us that’s why we are letting her go because her family needs her and we understand that. Anyway she promised to be back kaya, go lang ng go ang buhay.

Ate Isay Collage copy

That is why I’m writing this letter as one of my ways to let her go and also my one way of showing/saying of how much I love her as my educator as someone I look up to and to show that I will never forget her. We may be miles and miles apart but I know that her thoughts will always be with us and us to her. Some of the phrase or sentence I may have mentioned already during our Despedida party for her. If you’re reading this Ate Isay, please bear with me 🙂 🙂 🙂 I told you that I will just email this to you, and yes I did for you to know that I wrote this love letter in my blog because I don’t want to forget what I said to you and you are one of the people in my life that is worth keeping and remembering.

Dear Ate Isay,

I think it is really God’s plan for us to crosspaths and be part of each other’s life. I mean thousands took the entrance exam of PNP but only 90 was chosen and I was one of them. I still remember the first time we meet, it was during the interview for those who passed the exam. I was waiting outside the room from morning ’til afternoon for my turn and honestly I wished that my interviewer would be Ate Rose since I have meet her already during the information session conducted in our school and because you were with Miss Marie that time and I was afraid I may not speak English properly and I would be having a hard time to explain myself. But I don’t know how to call this, destiny, fate, or God’s plan to let us meet because when I got in the room I was seated in front of you two, Ms. Marie. I still remember your face and your smile which is very contagious by the way, it made me smile even more and I don’t know why but I became relax as the interview goes by. So yeah, I still remember the things that we talked about, aside from telling you about my family background (which is the part that always made me cry everytime whenever I tell someone about my life but for the first time in my life I was not able to cry maybe because I promised myself that I would not cry anymore or because of your aura that made me felt like it’s okay to be like that I don’t have to pity myself. I don’t know how to describe it, but that feeling really helped me a lot to express myself even though my mom(real mom) told me to cry in front of you so that you would choose me as one of your scholars but I never followed her hahah) then you asked me if I want to meet my dad (that is one question that I always hear from the people that I tell my life story and I never really gave them a right or straight up answer because I don’t know myself) but with you, I don’t even know who you are that time just you’re name but I gave you a straight up answer which is “Yes”. Hahaha, then you asked me about my hobbies, which I openly told you about: reading books, watching Anime, etc. You were shocked and told me you love reading books too and Anime also and when you asked me what anime I like and currently watching (hahaha) that is the time we contradict since the Anime’s I have mentioned are the ones you have never heard about since they were just new releases at that time. You were always laughing, you and Miss Marie which is very contagious; if you have known that time my hands, yes not shaking but if you touch it, it was very cold and hard to grasp just like right now while I am typing this. This happens whenever I feel a strong feeling may it be good or bad and that day was good 🙂 You asked me what I want to be if ever I had the money to go to college and I told you I want to take up Interior Design of my love for designing in details and my love for making projects and other stuff. You asked me if it was okay to have an IT course instead of what I want and I said yes because we already have computer class in high school so I was quite familiar already.

Ate Isay 2.1 copy

Then the critical questions came, the question that pertains to the rules of the scholarship. One of the main rules “Never have a relationship with anyone outside and most especially inside PNP”; you asked me if I had a boyfriend at that time and of course as proud as I am back then I said no “I am NBSB”. I elaborated that I never plan to have one and that I was scared because of my family background and you said that’s good (which made me more ashamed of what happened).

Months passed by before I heard your voice again. It was around 7 pm and we were about to close our tenda and make hakot of it when my phone rung and had a non-registered number flash on my screen. For some reason that I don’t know, my hands started shaking and turned zero degrees it was very cold. I pressed accept and I heard a voice asking if it was me who got the call and the first person who came into my mind was you. Then you asked me if I still remembered you and I said yes then you started talking about me passing PNP and that you will text to me when and where the contract signing will be. I started crying while you were talking and I thanked you and you ended your call (bohohoh). 

Fast forward to May 21, 2016. The day I arrived in PN, it was still early but there were some students already inside. It was very quiet when we entered the premises and silently looking for you. Then I heard someone talked about you arriving in the afternoon. And on that day it was announced that we will be having an Integration weekend. I was quite scared to mingle with the others but when I found out that you will be our facilitator oh lalala happiness hahaha 👇👇👇 😁 😁 😁

IamMarj.xyz-Ate Isay

After the very fun Integration weekend, I rarely see you. Sometimes, I would see you once a month.

Fast forward….to the day I committed a violation. The first thought that crossed my min was “What would be your reaction to this, would you be disappointed or what”. Every time you would come to Center 2, I would always hide and not show my face to you since I was really embarrassed you seeing me in the state that I am in (nauwaw jud ko te 😢 😢 😢 ) I don’t know if you noticed that. 

Back to the present, wait not yet.

Ate Isay 1.1 copy

When I heard that you will be our educator for our third and last year here in PNP, I was really really really happy but at the same time scared of what you might see me as because of what I did before. As time goes by the feeling of being scared had fade away. Though you had little time to spend with our batch which is mostly during weekends, monthly meeting, Friday dinners and boarding house visit we had grown fond of you. You never made us feel agitated like you know make us feel like today might be our last day here in PNP. But no, you made us feel like nothing can stop us from achieving our dreams and you always believed in us that we can do it. You jam with us like we are of the same age 😁 You always make us feel better when we feel sick or something happens to us, you are always there for us, through our happiness, achievements and when we were at our worst, you were always there along with you encouraging words and understanding wisdom(sakto bah???). When we are on the “tingbetay” you visit us and bring us slice bread or any bread, you even contribute to our boarding house bills (salamat d i ana ate 😁 ). You trusted us and you never left us (except now), and that is why we love you so much and it hurts that you won’t be there on our remaining journey/months towards graduation. I won’t make this letter too long anymore since we or I have said already everything that I want to say to you upfront, this are just the whole of it (my supposed to be speech) with some of the things that I was not able to say. Basta te, we will really miss you (I will really miss you) and we love you te. THANK YOU sa tanan ate! Til we meet again which will be on our graduation day! Take care always Ate ky mg kita pa baya ta. God bless always and keep smiling 🙂 We hope and pray that wherever you are going on the next chapter of your life, you will always smile and stay the same, stay bubbly 😄💜 . Thank you! Thank you Ate! Thank you is not enough po to express how grateful and blessed we are that you have been part of our lives. 

PS. Wala nay mg hatag namo ug slice bread or pan kung tingbetay 🙁

Ate Isay 3.1 copy

Loads of love,

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